It says that thinking starts when we ask the question, 'why?'

Have you been asking 'Why' when you do certain things?

A friend just passed away from cancer.

And it hurts.

It forces me to take some time to reflect on my life and the things i am doing.

Is it all worthed to do what i am doing now?

What is the point of spending so much time on the Boys Brigade?

What is the point of working hard and responsibly?

What is the point of saving?

What is the point of living responsibly?

What is the point?

Grieve certainly sneaked into my heart.

And it certainly made quite a mess out of it.

And i only have one question to life.

Why?

Life. Is. Limited.

Things are calmer at the office, but it does seem like work is still pouring in. It seems like a trapdoor that is rarely closed. Well, work does show the necessity of my employment, so therefore i am not complaining.

I started on this new book called Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller. I only found out that he is a Presbyterian when i looked at the back of the book. Pretty cool. Anyway, it talks about the different Idols that one can take up in life. Idols in our current culture like Love, Money, Success, Power and others. Somehow, i did get a bit of a C.S Lewis feeling when i am reading his books and that is pretty exciting.

Anyway, as usual, i thought of sharing this when i was reading the book while i am on my way home. It pretty much struck me about how Grace is and how the world is just not sufficient.

He was talking about Jacob trying to find happiness by 'earning' Rachel from Laban. And how Laban took advantage of his 'desperation' for Rachel by using Leah to earn his 7 years of wages before giving Rachel for another 7 years of wages. Then he talked about how Leah was trying to fill her void by giving Jacob sons. They all resulted in disappointment when Jacob found that he was in bed with Leah instead of Rachel and also to the fact that Leah never really gotten Jacob's favor after giving him four sons. Then the writer wrote the following with the heading "Cosmic Disillusionment":
"The reason for our confusion is that we usually read the Bible as a series of disconnected stories each with a "moral" for how we should live our lives. It is not. Rather , it comprises a single story, telling us how the human race got into its present condition, and how God through Jesus Christ has come and will come to put things right. In other words, the Bible doesn't give us a god at the top of a moral ladder saying, "If you try hard to summon up your strength and live right, you can make it up!" Instead, the Bible repeatedly shows us weak people who don't deserve God's grace, don't seek it, and don't appreciate it even after they have received it. If that is the great biblical story arc into which every individual scriptural narrative fits, then what do we learn from this story? (-In reference to the story of Jacob,Laban,Leah and Rachel)

We learn that through all of life there runs a ground note of cosmic disappointment. You are never going to lead a wise life until you understand that..."

Counterfeit Gods
Chpt 2: Love is all you need
-Timothy Keller

Don't you feel that sometimes, what the world provide is just not sufficient for you?
Don't you feel that same way as how Jacob have felt when he woke up to see Leah? That whole revolting feeling of emptiness at the end of what you thought might have made you happy.
There is a void that this world is never tailored to be sufficient to fill.
It is a repulsive thing.

Alas,

A day to myself to tidy and get my environment in better order.
Though i am pretty tired, i couldn't resist the opportunity to throw some old papers and things out.
Lately, time has been really tight.
Leadership Training Camp on the weekend 2 weeks ago,
Leadership Development Camp on the following weekend,
Working late and over the weekend this week.
Falling sick didn't help a bit.
It does make me wonder how people can live a life that starves them from love, rest and time.

The 2 weeks of intensive leadership activities had me thinking about leadership.(I guess it comes naturally)
And it is in my great joy to see so many potential leaders in the Boys' Brigade.
However, it would really be tragic if all these wonderful potential leaders go wayward.
The best advice to all the growing leaders is this : 

There is one audience to worry about though.
That would be the one that judges at the end of time.
If you place your focus on pleasing God, you should do very well in life.

“There is little difference in people, but the little difference makes a big difference. 
The little difference is attitude. 
The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” (W. Clement Stone)

Sometimes, you really wonder how it is to step into the shoes of another person and understand how the other person feels.

There is something of paramount importance that people needs to be reminded.

This is how the logic goes :

Presuming on the premise that there is a God.

If there is a God, he has to be all knowing and all powerful (Which naturally that is what God is suppose to be).

And since God is all knowing and all powerful then his actions has to be purposeful.

Since his actions has to be purposeful, it is only sensible that God puts the best people in each position in the world.

And you, being who you are, living the life you are living, it is natural that you have been picked by God to live the best you can possibly live.

Now, the question is not whether life is unfair but rather whether your definition of 'best' is the same as what 'best' was suppose to be intended to be.

So remember who you are.

You are elected, as compared to the whole world, to be the best person to live the life you are living.

I was able to take a break today.
Decided to catch Season 7 Episode 16 of House.

It revolves how House tries to get over his depression over his breakup. He goes through an endless pursue of entertainment in an attempt to fill a gaping void within his life. He spends his money recklessly, ordered countless social escorts, solves cases, takes drugs, drinking alcohol and so on. It is really painful to see a man at his wits end on how to bring any excitement and meaning of his life. The episode ends when he finds some relief enjoying with a crowd of youngsters. We do understand that that may only be a short relief to his endless pursue and we may soon realize, what many affluent people out there realize, that the world may just not be enough for any men. As clique as it sounds, maybe the answer could have been the pure love that the world may not be able to provide. The biggest question we have to face is probably: "How and where is this pure love!?" It is something we have to find it out ourselves.

I am reading The Race by Robert M Solomon. To be honest, I wasn't expecting much from his book initially.
So far, it has been quite a good book to take a second look at the way you live. He starts of with the importance of Directions in life.
It is of no meaning to be able to run fast and far if you are heading in the wrong direction.
That itself is the best first step at reexamining a person's life.

Are you heading in the right direction?

C.S Lewis wrote:
"We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive."

The month has been quite exciting.
It has also been really tough managing time.

I am quite tired and there are still much to do to progress.

in the past month i was able to witness the supernatural first hand.
Amazing.

And of course Membership course has got me thinking a bit of denominations and the different logic that are opened.

I will update more in journal when i am more inspired and have more time.

May need sometime to step out and remind myself of who i am.

I Think that is important.

"Honest To God?" by Bill Hybels caught my eye when i was browsing the church library yesterday.

The first thing that i was looking out in the book was the chapter on the "Seduction of Money".
Like many other books, he said things that did not surprise me.
To summarize, Trust God and tithe.

Amazingly, Denise quoted me the same verse he quoted, Malachi 3:10
"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it"

It is rather hard to trust as a young upstart in Singapore.
There are so many things to save and prepare for for the next season of life.
Truly, because of the need of money it is very easy to fall into the spiral of money loving.
Maybe, one way of finding out whether you have gone overboard is when you see that your sleep is impacted and the next thing you are thinking of is how to multiply your buck.(Of which is really draining and meaningless)

That aside, the first chapter of the book talked about writing journals.
I've realized that i stopped writing journal for quite sometime and have seem to think that i've missed out on reflecting and improving on life recently.

I just wanted to note down the deliverance that i witnessed a few days back.
How real the supernatural was. How real the faith was.
It just turned out that it doesn't look as though as it is a gimmick when you experienced it firsthand. (I wasn't the one being delivered.. don't worry)

Pastor then prayed for our protection from attacks and it does seem like i've had lesser demons to face with as of late.
Coming out of it, i did feel lighter and refreshed even though it was terrifying at some point.
Only during then, we will figure that our physical strength counts to nothing when we face the supernatural.

It is some sort of a milestone of my life to see the authority that is given and how real the supernatural battle is.
It may be fun to watch it on the cinema screen, but i can assure you that it is no fun to experience and witness it first hand.

That aside. I've been contemplating about leadership.
The whole idea of demanding standards, servant hood, mistake prone, humility, pride, task oriented, people oriented and the sort.

What is the best balance?
Has a person gone overboard when drastic actions are taken because what he/she thought of a leader does not coincide with the leadership?
Should we always step back to take the first assumption of "What if i am wrong?" instead of "I am always right" ?

Sometimes, i wish i experimented and made more mistakes in school so i can tell you a better answer.
And yet, the environment may prove that to be less conclusive since it is 'controlled' by a certain profile of people.
For the world really has all kinds of people.

Ranging from the brightly smart people, to the stupidly ignorant, to the irresponsible hypocrite.
The world surprises me.

I wonder sometimes how some people live.
A quote that i found nicely relevant to the end of this post:

It is Valentines day.

It has been almost a month since i last posted.

Time since to pass rather quickly as of late.

I've been to Japan with my family and cousin and back in a week.

Japan is quite unreal.

Everyone seems to either look really smart or look in extreme fashion.

And everything looks really clean and polished, the glass panels on all buildings looks new.

It is really impressive.

Life is at a standstill for me now.

I've got in the slog enough.

There are work to do, a harvest to reap and seeds to sow.

It is difficult but life will no longer be meaningful if we just stay in the slog.

It is a new year, it is a new beginning.

Lets go.

It has been more than a week into the new year.

I've been reading things like Holy Discontent, Marriage Covenant, Maximized Manhood for the past few months.

There are just so many things that are not right out there and too little people to stand up and be counted.

Even when there are some people, it is really easy to burn out and look at the necessities of a livelihood in Singapore.

Property, cash, car, taxes, budget, career, job, income.

They are things to worry especially when you meet your friends, you can't help but compare and be sore if you figured you are on the other hand of the rat race.

It is really tough to always put things into perspective when you want to lay less focus on such 'necessities' and focus on what is important and meaningful.

That money is not everything.

That being rich is not the main purpose.

But instead it is to fulfill God's desires that is placed in your heart, to maintain holiness, to love, to be fruitful.

Change is inevitable whenever you want to make something better.

With changes, one must have the necessary courage to create and implement the changes.

Especially when changes aren't seen to be all that popular in a comfortable environment.

Especially changes to make things right.

And a change will only be a change if there is a change.

Talking and planning changes is not a change unless it is executed. 

Talking is one thing, ensuring is another.

For righteous changes, you will need something i call, righteous courage.

And Righteous courage is a rare commodity now in our time of moral decay.

One may have Righteousness but no courage.

One may have courage but not righteousness.

A leader, however, needs to have both to make an impact in the world.

Resolutions, are useless if there are no changes.

Would you be the one that defeats the dragon?

Or would you be the one that coexist with the dragon?

Me?

I want to be one that slays the dragon.

Lord,

help me to see the dragon and strengthen me to overcome it.

I ain't going to settle for a good life.

I am only settling for an eternal life.